Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Ah, true luxury...

So I just realized something a few moments ago. I like my space in the bathroom. Sure you are thinking to yourself, "Of course, everyone does." But I think I have something a little unique. Maybe some of you share my love? I don't know, I can't read your brains.

I made this discovery when I had a number 2 emergency. I walked in the bathroom and started heading to my number one choice when it comes to taking number 2s: the handicapped stall.

I love the handicapped stall. It just gives you room to breath. There is even a stool in the ones here on ATSU campus. I put my bag on the stool hang up my jacket. Maybe pull out my iPhone and check my email. You know, take a little me time... on the toilet.

Anyways, the point is... I never knew it was an obsession ENOUGH to actually go to two other floors until I found a suitable handicapped stall in good condition. The first two had toilet paper strewn all over them. Seriously, what is this a GAS STATION! NO, it's a college of health sciences! I was appalled. One would think I would just give up the first time and use a "general boarding" stall, but no! ... I demand first class.

I know you are now probably asking yourself, "How can he do that? Imagine the disdain if a handicapped person was left waiting whileyou use THEIR toilet. Imagine the shameful bows and apologies as you leave the stall against their penetrating glance of disdain."

Well, you know what. Never happened. Ever. And I've been handicapping it up since my sophomore year at BYU pretty consistently... plus I have my polio back story. You've got to have a back story.


Marge Bjork said...

i've always believed no one should judge you for handicaps just because they can't see one.

Stephen said...

We are brothers. I do the same thing, I love pooping in the handicap stall. Some people don't like public toilets, but I find the ones at school or in nice public buildings very relaxing. I first set up a nice, cushy toilet paper seat cover (two layers) and then I take out my phone and play tetris or listen to music. If I have a newspaper, I'll stay in for extra long to read articles or comics.

Anonymous said...

rich! I love this. because toilets are important. AND because one time in boise, idaho, my friend went to a handicapped stall in the lobby of a hotel (i was there too) and while she was doin her business a lady came rap tap tapping at the door, I think with a cane, and shrilly demanded if she were handicapped. ARE YOU HANDICAPPED????? ARE YOU HANDICAPPED???? like a crazy witch banshee. and then we both came out of the stalls and she was gone! The ghosts of disabled peoples past and present... weird eh? but i can't say i love the handicapped stalls because the seats are too high up that my feet don't touch the floor.