Anything you can do monkeys do first

I read an article today in the BBC about how monkeys implanted with microchips in their brains have learned how to control a robotic arm with their thoughts. Monkeys were the first to try out this breakthrough technology! After reading the article, my thoughts turned to space travel... monkeys.. After the fruit flies, monkeys were the first animals in space. Monkeys are capable of doing a lot of spectacular things. They have proven to be pretty tech-savy. Thank you monkey friends for helping the world explore new heights and fine tune amazing technological advances!

Taxation Without Representation

It is sad that it has taken me this long to come upon the glorious city of Washington D.C. . The city, to me, just oozes patriotism. The monuments are resplendent and the bodies of water and fields that surround them are simply majestic. It was hard not to see the National Mall and not feel proud to be an American... and this was a very new weird feeling.

Also I got to ride the metro! It is sad how giddy I get when I get to experience a city's metro system. I will share something right now. I have a tendency to fantasize, and in some of my fantasies I am the Prime Minister of Canada. Now, what do I do as PM of Canada? I build a high speed transit system across Canada and within every major city in Canada. It only takes a few hours to get from Toronto to Calgary. It connects and unites the Canadian people like never before. Also, I make it mandatory for all Canadians to learn French K through 12. I also, subsidize the return of the Quebec Nordiques and Winnipeg Jets to professional hockey. Basically I am a nationalist and a socialist.

Oh ya, does anyone know why I was even in D.C. in the first place? I was training for a summer job with Enivision EMI which runs youth leadership conferences, of which I will be a part of. How was it? Well we played a game in which you mentioned the first word which came to mind when a racially charged word like "Rap Music" or "Nascar" was said. If you were to play that when you said "NYLSC Training" I would "Boring". Luckily, Lisha was there which basically erased all negative feelings about everything. Also, we had a huge opportunity to stand out and be some incredible missionaries.

I also enjoyed the Minneapolis Airport. Usually I walk on the moving sidewalks at airports. But this time I just stood... on four different and long moving sidewalks. People walked by, ran by, but I just stood like a Stoic, staring at my reflection in the wide expanse of windows in front of me. I ate a cookie and just stood. It was really therapeutic and lazy. Thank you Minneapolis!

Now for the Feats of Strength!

So it's official Jon Lau is going to the Philadelphia, Pennsylvania mission. HOO-RAY! Sad thing is he reports to the MTC August 13th. Which is 10 days before our August 23rd wedding. With this development the position for Best Man at my wedding is now open. From the poll it looks like we have a two man race between Chad Michael Duford and Richard Michael Wood. Now, they are both great friends and I really can't choose between the two of them so I'm going to let them decide. Here's the catch though we are going to have a feats of strength to see who is going to be my best man. It's going to be a decathlon of the most grueling kind. We are going to test agility, strength, intelligence, wit, and stamina.

Here are the Ten events to see who will be my best man:

1) The Mile - 4 laps around the track. Whoever has the best mile time wins.
2) Pick Up Sticks - Best out of three rounds of pickup sticks.
3) Personal Statement - A personal statement will be written by each of the challengers. The statement will be 2 pages max double space about why they think they would be the best best man. The statements will then be read by a panel of judges including myself and 4 other members. The judges will vote on who they think has a better personal statement
4) Cook Off - Each contestant can choose whatever he would like to cook. The same judges will sample the food and vote again.
5) Monkey Bars - The contestant will have 3 chances each to see how many bars they can skip while swinging from one bar to another. Should there be a tie they will have to do as many laps on the monkey bars as they can before they fall off.
6) Super Mario Brothers - The contestants will have one game of Super Mario Brothers. Whoever gets the furthest without warping wins.
7) The SAT - We'll provide a condensed version of the SAT for them to retake. Whoever scores the highest wins.
8) TBA
9) Challenger Choice - Chad will get to challenge Richard to anything he wants. (with my approval)
10) Challenge Choice - Richard will get to challenge Chad to anything he wants. (with my approval)

Whitney and I are going to be down in Utah in a couple of weeks to see her new baby nephew. We will hold the decathlon then. Let the airing of grievances begin!

Note: I reserve the right to change the events of the decathlon at anytime. Also if anyone has a good idea for an event feel free to share it with me.

Road trip!

I can't believe I didn't go on more road trips during my college career. This semester was the first that I really took a lot of road trips and the last one I went on was mooooonnney!! Let me tell you some of the hilarious happenings. Rich, Sam, and I while in Arizona were staying with Brittany and since her Mom teaches PE at the local Junior High, she mentioned we could all go to the pool. What she didn't mention at first was that we could only go during gym class. So we got to go back in time to Junior High days and assist a genuine American PE class! It was fantastic, and very awkward. Some kids asked us if we were in ninth grade. Then we headed to a reception because Britt had to work on some flower arrangements. We waited patiently in our swim trunks where the reception was going to be as the family passed us all in our suits and to our dismay, the reception started, we were in our suits, and Britt had just finished the arrangements. So we ended up attending that reception AND another one in our short bathing suits. I kept trying to pull it down over my knees, but no dice, they were short shorts. The next day we played some irrigation football, because in az they flood fields and call it irrigation. It was sooo sweet running around in the dirty water and tackling each other but then Rich got a rock stuck in his foot. That wasn't funny, but it was when we went to urgent care and got a tetanus shot and Rich had to hide his injury to avoid seeing the doctor and just getting the shot. We left to Havasupai that night for the next three days and it surely was three days in paradise. Havasupai was fetchin' amazing and we were jumping off anything we could in the clear blue water. For some reason, I started to say fetch at havasupai. Rich is going to write about the havasupai trip later.

Lauless, now Woodless

The loss of Mike, first for his Dexter job in Seattle and now more permanently to the blissful shackles of marriage, required a certain acclimatization. The Arrested Development quotes tapered off, the movie selection dwindled, and I got used to bottling up my frustrations in the recesses of my conscience, instead of wailing them out to the melodic blues chord progressions of his guitar. Now, with Stephen and Rich in Arizona this week, stimulating discussion of social injustices, the scent of curry and steaming rice, speaking French, the yearning for sporadic adventure, and the incessant playing of quality music have ceased.

I feel like a hermit crab, alone in this basement shell.

Wallowing in my solitude, I found a quote by Dag Hammarskjold, the Swedish Attorney General of the UN: "Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for." Well, the only thing I have going on right now is studying for the LSAT in June. And my Physical Science class, I guess. How depressing is that? Thanks a lot, Dag. What's worse, the Swede was killed in a plane crash that may or may not have been an accident linked to the CIA.

In writing, I realize that that this plane is going down too. The Woods will both be headed off to bigger and better things this coming fall, and here, in Provo, will I remain. I might even be going back to the French House...

SOS.